Succeeding in Life Starts With Rethinking How We Work

I'm very excited that we can have this conversation today!

First, I'd like to talk about what it means to try your best at something. The definition can vary considerably from person to person, given that we each work different hours and in different environments. What does "try your best" mean to you?

I see, so they wanted to convey gratitude.

Those are indeed two very different kinds of effort. We can divide how people try their best into three categories. The first is overdoing things for no real reason, the second is being forced to overdo things, and the third is trying our best because we actually want to put a lot of effort into something. It sounds like you are advocating for the third, and against the other two.

I don't think us humans are particularly robust creatures. That's why it's so important we sometimes stop working and talk to one another—take back control over our personal time and space.

While overwork can sometimes be caused by getting too caught up in our work, I worry more about trying too hard for the sake of our relationships and how we're perceived by others. Which is why what you mentioned earlier is so important: We need to figure out what is actually pushing us to try our best.

In Japan in particular, the societal norm is to show others that you're always working your very hardest; and we see this norm reflected in language. A common way to greet other people at work in Japan is to use the expression otsukaresama (お疲れ様).

As a matter of fact, I've been to many kinds of workplaces throughout various industries and nowhere have I seen otsukaresama used quite as much as in your line of work: television.

The word itself doesn't have a deep meaning—it just marks a pause in the conversation before moving on to the next topic. However, in English it loosely translates to "You look tired."

If you're constantly being told you look tired, chances are you'll begin to feel tired. Through the power of self-persuasion, talking about fatigue is in and of itself exhausting. Once everyone is exhausted, that exhaustion gets interpreted as a sign of how hard you're working. For that reason, you often hear people say with pride things like, "I only slept three hours last night," or "I didn't even have time to eat." Constantly talking about fatigue puts people into the unhealthy habit of wearing their exhaustion as a badge of honor.

There is evidence that in Japan especially, workers tend to put the needs of their company before their own. According to one survey, Japanese businesspeople are less willing to self-improve and more willing to work at the same company for a long time than businesspeople from other countries.

Absolutely. I think that would be better for all stakeholders, including the companies themselves!

What makes you think that?

That's great! I've had similar experiences.

When you put in effort to do your work well, people will notice and you'll end up with more opportunities for collaboration. In my case, it has led to people I'd never thought of working with coming up to me with opportunities.

Sometimes unexpected situations arise, wherein one person's work can become a valuable asset for another. These newfound opportunities can take you down an unforeseen path, revealing a whole new trajectory for your career.

However, people need to be extremely attentive to their surroundings for these opportunities to arise at all.

When you decided to engage upon the path of doing what you really wanted to do, did you ever hesitate to distance yourself from your image as a female TV presenter?

I've never really thought "this is who I am." I see my identity as not being fixed; like shaving a block of ice, molding it gradually into the shape I desire.

I have several personas that I can put forward, whether it's the face I show when I appear on a variety show, or the one I show as a researcher and scholar. But deep down, all of those manifestations of my inner self are connected to a common core.

Another way of looking at it would be to say I'm indecisive.

My job is to conduct research on the history of language, extract the value behind certain expressions, discover what happens when expressions are replaced, and how new value is assigned. I think who I am fits quite well with what I do.

Do you worry about what others think of your decision to do other things in parallel to your job as a TV presenter?

I see what you mean.

So that side of you is different from the side that you would typically show the world.

I think it's important to have a community with whom you can share the real you, rather than speaking to the world at large. After all, the concept of "society" isn't something you can really grasp in real life.

That's why I too make a point not to care about opinions from people whose name or contact information I don't know. Even if they're saying nice things... I mean, maybe a little, if they're saying nice things. (laugh)

Before I get to that point, I find a way to refresh.

Whether it's eating something tasty, exercising, having a glass to drink, petting my cat—I also like to look at distant landscapes. That's why going to remote Japanese onsens (hot springs) helps me recharge.

Japan has always been a society that has attached particular importance to people's roles. People here feel a strong sense of reprobation if they step out of the role or work that is expected of them.

Historically in Japan, status at birth determined everything, from the way you were allowed to behave, to the patterns and fabric of the kimono you could wear. People back then worked hard to associate outward appearance with who they were on the inside.

Categories aren't in and of themselves entirely bad. Our brains use categorization to make sense of the world, so we can't disregard them entirely. For instance, we've seen historical cases of brilliant individuals who were wrongly categorized, unfairly judged by their contemporaries, and ended up completely misunderstood, driving them to mental illness or even death.

That being said, nowadays people like yourself no longer have to be pigeonholed into narrow categories like "female presenter." You have the opportunity to break out and show that you can be other things too, which would have been inconceivable in the past.

Being judged based on a category rather than my performance is something I'm intimately familiar with. Since I came out as gay, I've had a lot of sexual minorities come up and ask me for advice. They would often tell me that they simply couldn't come out about their sexuality in the workplace.

I don't think it's necessary to come out in all circumstances, but what they were telling me was that due to a lack of understanding from their direct supervisors, they feared there was a strong chance they would miss out on opportunities.

In Japan, we're slowly getting used to seeing sexual minorities on our television screens every day. However, in most places around the world, it's still uncommon to have people come out and openly say "Hey, I'm a sexual minority" when it isn't related to their work. We are just starting to see it in the West, but that's it.

People still feel gripped by the creeping anxiety that at some level they won't be accepted for who they truly are.

And it's not limited to sexual minorities. Once people start saying to each other "that person's a bit different," it can be hard to recover socially.

I see what you mean.

A positive scoring system. I think that's fantastic.

This is your eighth year working for your company, right? I hope you keep that way of thinking five years down the road, when you'll be in a position of greater authority.

I'll also often find myself in meetings where I'll listen to someone speak and feel that negativity oozing out of every word they say.

It would be impossible to go back over every comment and add, "Well, you know, there's also this positive thing you haven't mentioned." But not doing anything would also be wrong, so first I try to store everything they said in a corner of my mind.

For example, if a person keeps listing off negative points about someone else, I'll think to myself, "What about the things this person can do, and has actually done so far?" It's natural for any human being to have good and bad things about them.

If more people—particularly team leaders—are able to adopt this way of thinking, I think the workplace will become more comfortable for everyone.

Being sensitive to what other people think and feeling pressure to conform is of course not limited to Japan.

That being said, Japan has built a public education system in which everyone is expected to advance in the same direction, and there is little tolerance for stepping out of line. It's a culture that attaches particular importance to the ability to conform.

While this way of educating people has its upsides and downsides, I believe that five to ten years from now, it will be much better for both individuals and companies to do what you mentioned earlier—namely to use the company as a tool for personal advantage.

Japanese society is slow to change. Even when a few people start speaking up, that change will take time.

That's why if you notice a problem, you have to act on it as an individual. We need more people that have the courage to raise their voice and clearly state when they think something needs to change.

The justification I often see for people not voicing their convictions is that Japan is a society that values peace, and nobody wants to take responsibility for being the sole individual to disturb that peace.

However, even if you act based on egotistical reasons at first, that can have positive repercussions for many of those around you. That's why when it comes to our behavior, the best is to make cool-headed decisions based on what results we personally think would be the most beneficial.

When you were in a position where you had to summon up your courage and start something new, have you ever felt anxiety from what others may think, or how they might criticize you?

I've gotten to a point in my career where I'm often seen as the person who knows things, but there are plenty of things I don't know, as well as things I get wrong.

Of course I still regret making mistakes, but I've learned to say what I think without fear of messing up.

I've noticed that in fact, when people find out that I own up to my mistakes, they trust me more overall. That's why I believe it's important to mess up just a bit sometimes.

As humans, we're attracted to things that are not completely perfect, but rather just a bit rough around the edges. Those things seem more natural than something aseptically pure and polished.

I understand the desire to avoid pain and discomfort, but I feel that before you end up hurting yourself badly and losing everything, it's better to build up immunity by letting yourself make a series of small mistakes.

Those little mistakes are part of what makes us who we were, and we can't be our true selves without making a few mistakes here and there. Although I'll admit, it can sometimes be hard to control your mistakes and keep them small.